Most people form powerful bonds with their pets, so losing them can cause a level of grief like that of losing a family member or close friend. Managing grief and loss can be extremely challenging, and many are unsure of what to do next. However, having coping tools at your disposal can help make a difficult time easier. Below are some tips to help you navigate losing your pet and moving forward without them.
Acknowledging and understanding grief
For many, the loss of a pet can feel unreal. Owners may avoid certain feelings or situations because they do not want to accept that their furry friend is gone. Unfortunately, ignoring the pain will not make it go away. Ignoring your emotions will cause them to build up over time, causing physical and mental strain on your body. Therefore, acknowledging death allows you to work through your emotions gradually and puts you on the path towards acceptance. The grief brought on by the death of a pet is not different from the death of a human family member.
It is also important to remember that grief is a personal experience. Everyone reacts to grief differently, and there is no right or wrong way to feel it. Therefore, it is essential not to let others dictate how you feel or act in response to grief. Likewise, it is vital not to impose your own biases on others that may be grieving. No one’s suffering is “more important” than the other.
Many expect feelings of sadness with death, but some may also feel anger, regret, relief, guilt, etc. These emotions may feel misplaced, but they are valid and a normal part of the grieving process. Similarly, there is no set time frame for grief. Some may feel pressure to “get over it,” but grief is a gradual process, and healing cannot be forced.
Coping with grief
Although acknowledging grief is an integral part of coping, it often does not make things easier. Unfortunately, nothing can fully take away the pain, but there are some things you can do to make it a little easier. Below are some suggestions:
Allow yourself time to grieve
Many of us have busy lives, and it can be easy to try to brush off your grief to tend to other responsibilities. However, it will not go away overnight. You need to give yourself time to process and accept death before you can think about moving on. It is okay to take a personal day or two if you need it.
Be patient with yourself
Coping with loss can be long, challenging, and sometimes frustrating. You will likely make some mistakes along the way, but you must be patient with yourself throughout. No one can adequately prepare you for a loss, and you are doing your best with the resources and tools you have. Therefore, it is vital to give yourself a break and room to breathe.
Memorialize your pet
Memorializing your pet can be a great way to keep their memory alive while providing a space for you and your loved ones to vent emotions. You can hold a ceremony, have a party, turn their ashes into keepsakes, get a tattoo of them (e.g., their paw print), scatter their ashes in their favorite park, etc. There are many options to choose from, which can bring some light into an otherwise dark time. You may not visit a funeral home as you would to say goodbye to a human loved one, but finding ways to memorialize your pet in a similar manner is very important. Check to see if your cremation provider can arrange for a visitation of your pet’s body. Some companies offer that service in a funeral home-type event at their facility.
Talk to someone
It can sometimes be challenging to find an outlet to express your feelings when coping with loss. Talking to someone is a great way to do this. It can be very therapeutic and allow you to feel heard and understood. Find a therapist near you and book an appointment.
Join a support group
Joining a support group is another excellent way to feel understood because you express your grief to those dealing with a similar loss. Grief can sometimes feel isolating, and this is a great reminder that you are not alone.
Find comfort in memories
It may be difficult to revisit memories at the beginning. However, reminiscing allows you to remember the good times and all the joy and love your pet brought into your life. You may not be able to get them back, but they can live on in your memories.
Ensure your loved ones are supported
Commonly, a pet is part of a large family. Therefore, it is likely that more than one person is grieving, and it is important that they also receive love and support.
Support your children
If you have kids, it is essential to tell them about the death and be there to answer any questions they might have. You must also give them a space to feel and vent their emotions. Death can be very confusing for young children, so they will likely need support from those around them.
Give your pets extra love
If you have pets, they will be grieving as well. It can be difficult for them to express this, but you may notice they are mopey or sluggish. Maintaining their schedules and exercise routines is crucial to give them a sense of normalcy. Giving them a little extra love and comfort doesn’t hurt either.
Find outlets for your feelings
For some, it can be challenging to express their feelings out loud or to someone else. Therefore, it is vital to find other ways to do this. This can be done through journaling, art, writing, dancing, etc.
Talk to a professional
For some, the loss of a pet may be too difficult to handle on their own. It can also lead to things like depression or anxiety. A professional may be able to help you or your loved ones work through and understand your emotions in healthier and more productive ways.
Moving forward
Accepting grief can seem like an impossible task at the beginning. However, things will get easier as time goes on. It may seem easier to avoid negative feelings and emotions, but they are crucial parts of the grieving process.
For some, moving forward may also mean getting a new pet. The thought of doing this can invoke feelings of guilt. However, getting a new pet does not mean replacing the old one. Nonetheless, it is crucial not to rush into this. Ensure you first give yourself, your family, and other pets time to process and grieve fully.